Hawaii!

The flight to Hawaii was uneventful. But arriving there was amazing! Perfect weather, beautiful skies, so much to look at! Going through customs, the immigration officer asked really did you go to all these countries on THIS trip? As this is not the first time I've had this sort of confrontation, I just smiled and said yes I've been gone for a year. He asked are you a student? And I took another breath and said no I'm a diplomat that is why I have that diplomatic passport you are holding. He looked at me incredibly confused, flipped through my passport a bit more, and then handed it back to me. He failed to stamp it but I didn't want to take the time to point that out. Then the normal airport hassles, finding my too huge bag and hauling it onto the shuttle to get to Enterprise for them to YET AGAIN not have the size car I booked and instead force me to pay more than my reservation because I don't want to take a pickup truck. Ugh. But how upset can one get in paradise?

I check into my condo and it is gorgeous!!!! A beautiful view of the sea from my balcony, a golf course at my door, a huge misty mountain in my backyard. Perfection. I go to the grocery store and have a near epileptic fit at the huge variety of stuff to buy, a whole aisle of cheese and whipped cream and sour cream and cream cheese and then the fruits and vegetables! Avocados that will taste like avocados!!!! Tomatoes that will have taste! Heaven. And Bagels!!!!! Hello old friends!!!! The place is so clean and people give me a wide berth to just explore and noone tries to step on me or sweep stuff over my feet and it is so beautiful. An aisle just for ice cream! What a country!!!! I'm so happy to be back in the USA!

I lounge, I read, I watch bad t.v., I do laundry, I make awesome fresh meals, I hang at the beach, I go to yoga - this is my first 18 hours in Maui. Actually at yoga I give a random woman a ride and turns out she owns a vineyard in the Willamette Valley in Oregon...my next stop! Crazy. And then I go pick up Michele! And it is so easy. I park the car, I walk to the baggage claim, she is there. There are no hordes and hordes of people camping out and clogging the only tiny little exit aisle that passengers can come through. Nope. This is America!!!!

I take Michele back to the condo and we go to the beach. We book ourselves a luau for later that night. Oh the luau! At the end of the day it was cheesetastic and a total tourist trap but the food was good, surprisingly so given how many people they were feeding, and the alcohol kept flowing and the dancing and singing and fashion show acts were entertaining. At the entrance they were giving everyone either a Mai Tai or some nonalcoholic drink. When Michele asked for a Mai Tai they carded her 35 year old self and then stamped her hand. I asked if I needed to show I.D. and the woman kinda laughed at me as she snidely said um no. Darn India has aged me! Like a lot. I gained about 20 pounds and 15 years of wrinkles. Worth it. We ended up getting total prom pictures taken at the entrance and then buying them. We went up on the stage to learn the hula. We got lost going through the hotel complex to try to find a cab.

At the condo, we decided we wanted to go out. So we walked across the golf course to what looked like a bar. We walked in the back door. Hmmmm no people. We keep walking through the restaurant until we come to a bar area with two dudes who look very much like they are closing up. Heavy metal is blaring. Michele asks if we can get a drink. The gentlemen very nicely tell her that the place is closed and they are just finishing up. She asks well where can we go then? And they call a cab and give a recommendation. They let us use their bathrooms. Michele uses the dude's room and then comes out to congratulate the nice guys on how well kept the dude's room is, something about wow it has soap and everything. Then, with Van Halen blasting, she tells them your music sucks. Making friends and influencing people wherever we go!!!! The cab comes. We leave.

Next bar. A sort of Mexican theme. Beer, we get local draft beers. Again Michele decides the music stinks. Her solution? Put $20 in the jukebox since she has no ones. The result? A few songs repeated multiple times because they are just that great and man it is hard to remember what one already played!!! Poison's Ain't looking for nothing but a good time and Lita Ford's Kiss Me Deadly got some pretty heavy rotation. There was dancing though there was no dancefloor. There were a lot of random conversations with barflies. All in all a pretty sweet night.

The next day was a bit ouchie. But we went to the beach and enjoyed the beautiful water and sand. We went to dinner at the restaurant on the golf course that we had terrorized the night before and that had been gracious enough to call us a cab. Good dinner. Another amazing sunset. We woke up early so that we could go to Haleakala National Park. Early morning driving through Maui and the amazing light. So many people surfing or on those stand up and paddle surfboards as we drive along the coast, huge cliffy misty mountain to one side and spectacular sea to the other. And then we turn more inland and there are sugar plantations surrounding us as we start driving towards the monster of a volcano that is Haleakala. So starting at sea level we drive maybe 30 minutes but gain 10,000 feet of elevation. At one point we drove right through a cloud! And it starts to be FREEZING. Yeah should have thought of that. But it is beautiful and crystal clear and we can see the hollowed out looking area with all the lava rocks in it and we are above the clouds so there is a mer de nuages and the air is so crisp and you can see for miles and miles and miles and the sea is gorgeous and some other islands are in view. Ah. Oh. Lovely. But alas, it is time to head back down and take Michele to the airport, twas a quick but eventful visit! And then there was just me again.

Learning All the Time

Hey look I finally learned how to add photos....now if I could only figure out how to play scrabble on here I could give up Facebook!

The Long Way Home

So here I am back in the U.S. of A. And yes it is magnificent. And marvelous. And mesmerizing. Especially the long, clean, bright rows in the grocery stores and the wonderfully sparkling bathrooms everywhere I go. And I can plug things right into the wall and the electricity never goes out and I can drink water RIGHT from the tap. I'm in my sixth week of home leave and I still get teary eyed at the little pleasures.

On the long way home I first went to Australia. Well after a bit of hassle. I had trouble shedding tears leaving India. I knew that most of my coworkers I would see again. There are people who I knew I would miss but at the end of two years there I was exhausted and just ready for clean air and roads I can walk down and smiles from friendly faces instead of (given not malicious but mostly only curious but still) empty stares. So I didn't cry at my farewells at work. And I didn't cry when leaving my wheel's up.

And I was told that I would share my car to the airport with someone who would be arriving at Post that evening (sunrise, sunset). But then it was changed because what if my flight was delayed and the car couldn't get there in enough time? My response was I wouldn't be checking flight times and I was going to the airport at my designated time come hell or high water because one way or another I was getting on a plane that evening!!!

I get to the airport and I turn over all my stuff - keys, forms, blackberry - to the driver. I head in and yet again the whole airport is arranged differently and security procedures changed but not explained (I lived there 2 years, flew into 18 different Indian airports, visited Sri Lanka thrice, saw Bali, Bangkok, Singapore, had 10 visitors fly into Chennai....I had a LOT of experience with what I declare tied for the worst airport in India...and hands down winner of most disgusting bathrooms in any airport in the entire world in my experience but I digress).

I make it to the front of the line with my oversized bag. The check in dude asks me for my ticket and passport. I give him my dip passport (one of two on me but the one with the Indian visa) and he asks me where my Australian visa is. I explain that I will be traveling on my tourist passport and a visa is not required. I give him my tourist passport. He still insists I need a visa. Then he explains that I needed to check in online with Australia. He tells me to go do that. I calmly ask how do you expect me to do that now? He basically tells me to have my people do that and chastises me since my travel agent should have done this (yeah don't get me started on the ineptitude of the travel agent at Post, the rest of the management section was a dream and far exceeded my expectations but wow was the travel agent a dud, a contracted dud). Deep breath and I explain I can't do that, I don't have my phone, I don't have internet access. He gives me a does not compute look and just repeats that I need to check in and get pre-authorization before I can board.

I bawl. Hard. Sobbing, gasping for air bawling. The does not compute look turns to pure why is the white lady crying panic in check in dude and he gets a manager. A very nice manager who takes my passports and says he'll go in his office and do the check in for me. The startled check in dude tells me I need to step aside and wait until the authorization comes through. I cry again and say I just can't move this big bag any further. He starts to tell me I have to but I gasp my tears and he sends a dude to move my bag for me. Okay so maybe I was milking it at that point but once I started crying I couldn't stop and all the amazing things about India came to mind and the fabulous family that was created in our community was in my thoughts and I realized that I really would miss so much about this country of absolute extremes and had I ever stopped to process the effect all of it would have on me? So the tears at first may have been for show but once started I could not stop and I just plunked down on my bag and had at it while incredibly terrified dudes tried to stay as far as possible from me.

Seriously, why did I learn the trick to getting personal space in my last hours in India???? Maybe I should write the CLO and have it put in the manual for new arrivals.

The nice manager guy comes out and asks me some silly questions and I give him some silly answers. Eventually I procure a boarding pass and head to Kuala Lumpur (such an awesome airport!!!!) and then Sydney. At Sydney I hand the immigration officer my tourist passport. He looks it over, does some computer stuff then asks do you have any OTHER passports? Um, yeah I say and hand over my other two dip passports. And that is how I learned what the Australian look for my isn't this person shady looks like. The nice immigration officer asks me to wait.

Another immigration officer comes and takes all my passports and leads me to a bench. Gulp. And yes the irony of having just been a visa officer for the past two years and then not knowing the visa requirements for Australia and then being taken a little tad bit to almost secondary was not lost on me. I sit on my bench thinking about it but mostly just laughing and loving that I AM IN AUSTRALIA!!!!! The immigration officer comes back, asks a few questions, tells me that my online application had been done on my dip passport and that my first and middle names had been entered as one and then he welcomes me to Australia and tells me to enjoy my stay! I'm in!!!!

I get my bag and get in a cab and am in love with cars staying in lanes and the quiet of the road, no honking, no yelling, no fireworks, no public urination/defecation. Sydney is nice. I check in and exhaustedly make it to my room. After spending 9 months vegetarian (about 2 of that vegan) I call up room service and pretty much ask them to back a cow and a knife and a few glasses of red wine up to the little table. It was delicious.

The next day I go on an amazing tour on a bus with a driver who thought I was shady because I said I was "between places" when asked where I live. We first went to a really cool zoo where kangaroos were just hopping all around. I got to feed some of them and then they fought each other for the cone that my food had been in. Rad. Later in the trip I ate kangaroo on a pizza with cranberry. Delicious. Apparently kangaroos don't want to kill each other when they fight. And usually they fight over chicks. So once the beaten kangaroo just puts his face down on the ground, basically saying uncle, the fight is over. If you are ever being beaten by a kangaroo remember that. Poor kangaroo probably just thought you were after his woman, put your head down and stay away from his gal and you'll be fine. I also got to pet a koala bear. Omigosh it was so cute and cuddly!

Then we drove into the blue mountains, blue because of the eucalyptus trees. Some hiking and we saw the three sisters monument. Then we went to Scenic World and did a really cool cable car and then the world's steepest train which used to be just for coal and then I walked through the rain forest and saw old wreckage of coal mining equipment and it looked right out of the show Lost. And then we went to the Olympic village and took a ferry through the harbor and I got my first view of the Sydney Opera House. A festival was going on and all sorts of crazy light show effects were happening on this already surreal looking monument.

The next day I did the Sydney Bridge Climb. I took the sunset tour which started at 3 pm. They made us wear strange suits and get ourselves all attached to these cable things but it was still really cool walking up the support system of the bridge and then being on top for sunset, looking down at all the cars and looking out to the amazing view of the harbor and the city, watching the sunlight fade and the city lights turn on. And did I mention they did this on America's Next Top Model?

I had so much fun on the Blue Mountain tour that I booked again through the same company and ended up with the same driver for the Hunter Valley wine tour. A beautiful day learning about Shiraz and watching the grapes grow. Yum.

The last day in Australia I had a reservation at Quay, listed as the 22nd best restaurant in the world. It was a cold but clear day and I first walked down and around the harbor and the Opera House. The restaurant is right on the harbor with excellent views of the water, the Opera House, the bridge. I chose the tasting menu with wine pairings. Ten beautiful courses and wines. The sommelier at around course 5 asked if I was driving. I said no and she said oh thank goodness because I've been pouring you kind of heavy. I said I know and THANK YOU! What lovely food although I'm still confused about the "ethical foie gras". I asked and they said they don't force feed. Hmmmm. Wow I just realized the time.....well next time I'll talk about finally getting back to the U.S. because I left Sydney and arrived in Hawaii!!!!!

Monkeys, do they love me or hate me? Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the Buddha.

I'm skipping a LOT here....the camel safari, the Andamans, Bali, Udaipur and my Bond adventures...but....MONKEYS!!!!! As I type scores of monkeys keep crossing my path. Some juveniles just got separated from their parents and at least THEY find me threatening enough to keep some distance. Oh no, there they go finding some adults and passing my balcony again.

Holly and I are staying at this amazing hotel. Up in the mountains, on a lake, designed by Geoffrey Bawa to be a part of the mountain. I'm siting on the balcony having tea but there is another line of pillars about 6 feet out from the hard part of the building that has vines growing all over it to give the hotel a green cover and hide it away. between the balcony and the pillars/vines is a criss cross of beams and on that and the vines the monkeys are ambling around.

The first day in this paradise I do see a few monkeys at breakfast but they were very well behaved. Then we went to Sigiriya, an ancient fortress where we climbed and climbed to see breathtaking panoramas and 900 year old cave paintings and then headed to Polannaruwa where I got to see my huge Buddha out of the mountain carvings. Then home, no crazy monkeys, just cute ones as scenery.

The next morning I decided to have tea on my balcony. And many monkeys came by to scope the joint. But for the most part left me alone. Well except for one particularly curious one that I chased away by saying "Bad monkey, BAD monkey". Then I went for a massage. When I got out, I saw a Holly storming up to me demanding "Just what state was the room in when you left it?

..."umm, what do you mean?"..."Well was your computer missing a key? And did you leave the music on?"...."Huh, negative on both counts."...."Well then we got a problem."

Holly went on to tell me that the room looked as if it had been ransacked but that the balcony door was locked and nothing of value appeared to have been taken. However, my cigarettes were mostly missing and the remaining strewn all over the place, my tea cup had been smashed, her toiletries bag had been opened and her medications stolen, and yes, my music had been turned on. Which actually was quite a feat....iTunes was up and downloading but the monkey would have needed to go into the music and press play....I guess the monkeys were just desperate for some OK Go. Apparently Holly's first thought was that I had done all of this. Her second had been that a monkey was still in the room so she had gone around searching, to which I ask "What would you have done if you had in fact found a monkey under the bed?"

Okay, fine. A bit inconvenient but no major harm done. We laughed. Holly especially just kept imagining the fun the troupe of monkeys must have had. So I finish reading my "Seven Years in Tibet" and start reading my "An Open Heart" by the Dalai Lama. And let me just say, Buddhism is hard. I mean, you are supposed to think through why you get mad and take the time to disable the thought. Well, I really do love the tenets of Buddhism but man is it a lot of work. But I start thinking I'll give it a try.

So the following day we head out to Anuradhapura, a city of ruins with some fabulous stupas. And then to Dambulla Cave Temple. So at this second stop we walk up a LOT of stairs. And along the way some sweet old ladies ask if I want to buy some flowers. And I think, well maybe I can't stop myself from being an angry lady but I can buy some flowers to put by the Buddhas. So I get my handful of lotus flowers and keep trudging up the stairs. And I feel virtuous. So much so that when all the little kids and some adults continue barraging me with the Hello Hellos I say hello back and smile and they go off giggling. Event the teenage boys being rowdy and well, teenage boys, are not getting me down. Cause I'm going up, to give flowers to Buddha. And then I feel a tug at my hand and look down and there is a monkey running away with my flowers.

Growing up, my dad always left the car and the house unlocked. And when I asked him about it he just said that if someone really wants to come take the stuff they probably need it more than him. Did the monkeys really need my computer key, my Wasa bread, my cigarettes, my flowers, Holly's insect spray and medicine more than me? I suppose some mysteries will always be unanswered.

just realized i forgot the best part in part 1

At the Christmas Eve dinner, there was a band. A totally cheesetastic cover band. And a smoke machine. And the song Careless Whisper which followed me and Michele throughout India, pretty much on repeat in the Himalayas. Anyhoos, it popped up again here in Sri Lanka, the island so nice I visited it thrice.

all that happened in 5 months???? Crazy. Prob Part 1.

Life has been a whirlwind the past few months. I had a steady stream of visitors and amazing vacations. All I really remember about November is that we went bowling for my birthday and the Indian Fonzarelli was there. He ruled.

Working in American Citizen Services made me really enjoy my job for six months and hence allowed me to breathe a little, lighten up a little, and enjoy India a lot.

Michele came in December! She visited and spoke at a clinic in Chennai besides doing the normal sightseeing. Then she and I went to Kochi for one night (for me it was a work trip but it gave her the chance to see Kerala and its beautiful palm tree landscape) and then on Christmas Eve we started our adventure, heading out to Calcutta.

We started out trying to walk around and made it to Victoria Memorial. Then we tried to walk to Mother Theresa's house...big epic fail. We just walked and walked and walked and since Calucutta is colder I was wearing close-toed shoes for the first time in ages and getting blisters. So we hailed a cab. And the cab just started going. and going. and going. And then it turned into some shady looking side streets. And then some alleys that can't really be called streets. And just when I was wondering if I should suggest a tuck and roll exit to Michele, the dude stopped and ejected us in some shady corner.

To his credit, it did appear that there was some connection to Mother Theresa though that mission would not allow visitors in. However it was not the Mother House. We then had a pretty gnarly dude lead us down some other shady alley to another temple before we both realized we needed to get the heck out of there. But alas no cabs to be found as the tight little roads could barely fit them in that corner of Calcutta. Finally we found one and decided we should try the oft recommended Park Hotel for a drink. After TONS of traffic we get to the place only to have them tell us we were not welcome as we didn't have reservations. Well poo on them!

We got back to our hotel, the Taj, just as the sun was setting. Calcutta does have truly beautiful light, admittedly due to all the particulates in the air from the pollution but still very beautiful and driving past the Victoria Memorial at sunset is inspiring. Until you think about the iron fisted colonial rule that created the building.

So we got to the room and were watching the little reel about all the awesome things at the hotel as the sun continued with its magical lighting...we decided to go to the upper floor bar with the view. When we got there they wouldn't let us in. Hmmmph. (so of course later in the evening i sent a huffy email to them about it. which led to us getting a free bottle of wine the next day and a personal invite from the manager to go there. which we did. and realized it sucked and we didn't want to be there anyways....)

So we ended up at the poolside bar. Which was so fantastic. Apparently they were rocking it out for Christmas Eve. With blue lights everywhere. Yeah. They were having a super special dinner and did we want to go? No, we didn't. We just wanted to sit and drink champagne. So we drank a bottle of champagne and then decided it was time for dinner. We asked our new best friend Raja the waiter if we could go to the Lebanese restaurant....he said sure when it opened at 7:30...wait what time is it? Oh only about 5:40. Yeah. The sun sets REAL early in December in Calcutta, especially since India is all one time zone and Calcutta is the eastern edge. OOOOOOOPs. Well the only thing to do was to have another bottle of champagne and really catch up. And by catch up I mean act like we were 22 again (or 27 for that matter) and years of not speaking never happened and remember that we have known each other for nearly 3 decades and pretty much have a lot to laugh and cry and celebrate about together.

And then we ate. And it was awesome. And then we went back to the poolside bar where Raja had saved our bedseats (yeah it was that kind of a comfy place). And there was more champagne. But I'm pretty certain Raja was just giving it to us from the fancy dinner going on....he he he. And then bed.

Man I do babble. Yeah there is no way to catch up on 5 months in one post. But I'm trying to get some of this down before I leave India in just over 2 months. Currently in Bali. Hoping to use some of this alone time to do some of the catching up. Gotta go to bed now though since I'm going to bike down a mountain tomorrow. Yeah.