Natalie and I are taking Bollywood dancing lessons. With Chennai Man 2008, Jodi No 1 (the Indian version of either Dancing with the Stars or So you think you can dance?) winner Sanjay. Boy that man can moves his hips. And his shoulders. Along with Natalie and me, two others from the consulate, an Indian woman, a French woman, a British woman and a 12 year-old Indian boy hang out in a small room and bumble through his choreographed fun. I have to admit I was curious about Sanjay, especially after he was telling us that he would be on T.V. the next day. I don't have a T.V. but I do have You Tube. So I watched my teacher rock out to Bon Jovi on the Chennai beach with some little kid. Yes I did. We won't talk about it again. The first song we have been learning is Talli Main Talli Ho Gai which apparently means I'm so drunk. At many points in the song our hand motions are supposed to represent doing shots...I've never popped my hips so much while doing shots but whatever. I look like a epileptic spider on crack who just had vodka sprayed on her and fell into a blender that happens to have been slung down a slip and slide while trying to do the dance. Natalie looks flawless. I want to take a video of her and post it so people can have an idea of what I am SUPPOSED to be doing. But it is a ton of fun and next family wedding Natalie and I will totally rock our new dances. We are working on Jai Ho now. I've downloaded the songs and due to the monsoon making running impossible, Natalie and I just have Bollywood dance party in the apartment instead. Life is good. Some of the moves though are very counterintuitive. Sanjay gets a little fed up with the class's general lack of ability to do his crazy moves but he tries not to show it. Usually he starts showing us something insane which seems simple enough when shown slowly but becomes impossible to do at the speed of the music. After we try it with music he tends to sigh and then just tell us to shift from foot to foot and pump our arms. When the french lady kept saying "but my arm wants to go here not there" he took a deep breath and told her to "use your head". Heart.
Last weekend I went to my first Indian wedding. It was the pinnacle of efficiency, an economist's dream. We arrived slightly late having gotten lost (I suppose we should have turned at the cow in the road but we went straight). I sadly did not have a sari to wear as my sari shirt had not been made yet, sigh. Oh, I forgot to say whose wedding it was! Balu, a cutie who works in the consular section with us! He has the most rocking glasses. Anyways, we show up late and go up to the third floor and people usher us forward saying please come and then put up chairs in the front row for us to sit and give us diet cokes. Kinda felt bad ruining the view of the super cute kids who had heretofore been the front row. Balu and his bride and family members were on stage. As were bananas and flowers and things that were making smoke. A whole lot of photographers were at the foot of the stage. A heck of a lot of people were in the audience...hundreds and hundreds. I didn't really understand what was going on but jasmine was pinned in the bride's hair and the cords were tied around the neck and some rings were exchanged and then Balu and his bride walked around the alter and then walked around it with their family and then it was receiving line time. Everyone (yes EVERYONE) took off their shoes at the foot of the stage and worked their way up to say congrats and have a picture taken and then collect shoes and then were herded to the second floor. The second floor had eight rather long tables which probably fit about twenty people on a side. The room was arranged in sections of two tables with chairs just on one side of each table and an aisle between each pairing of tables. As guests sat in the chairs, waitstaff went down the aisles b/w the tables and rolled out new paper, then a waiter went down the aisle and gave each guest a fresh banana leaf and bottle of water, then a whole slew of chefs with their own pots walked down the aisle and loaded the banana leaf with all sorts of deliciousness (especially the pineapple wonder). People ate and if they wanted more they folded the leaf one way and when finished folded it the other. And then the waitstaff just rolled the paper and leafs back up which was our cue to move so that the little kids stalking our chairs could sit and the process could be repeated for the next batch of guests. We then left. Overall, ceremony plus meal took about an hour. Beautiful! Tonight we are invited to a wedding reception. My sari shirt is made but the tailor didn't open yesterday due to monsoon. I might just wear my sari with a tank top and tuck it into my workout shorts since I don't have a petticoat.
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